Secret life of cans

I work a lot from my home, so I take quite a few breaks to daydream. Today I found myself wondering about the secret life of cans.  Everyday they just sit in my storage closet, seemingly inanimate...

but come on, I saw Toy Story 1 and 2.  I wasn't born yesterday.  What do they really do when the closet door is closed and no one is looking? I set up a sting operation to find out.  Two hours of stealthy sleuthing revealed these shocking photos of can violence:

I don't even know where they got the can opener from.

What are your cans up to?